October 30, 2006. The date will be forever etched into my mind. It is the date of the very last day of instruction for my degree program. It marks the completion of an on-again, off-again relationship that I’ve had with school since 1995. I am now waiting for the last grade to post so that I may apply for my diploma. I won’t have “closure” until that piece of paper is finally in my possession, tangible evidence of the countless hours spent reading, writing, working on projects, and meeting with study groups. The last of which was perhaps the most challenging for me.

In hindsight, school has stretched me in ways that I had not expected. Academics were never really much of a problem, but working with learning teams always seemed to be a challenge. In everything, you will have your share of good and bad apples. It’s just the luck of the draw that determines whether working with your study group will be a pleasurable experience – or whether you will feel compelled to yank out your hair in big clumps by the end of the course. Dealing with “adult learners” provides its own set of challenges. In a typical university scenario, students are generally dedicated to school full-time, possibly holding down part-time jobs to support themselves. With adult learners, school can often seem more like an after-thought. Your classmates, like you, often have demanding full-time jobs, children, and other activities and concerns that take priority over school. Many times, it shows: in the caliber of their work, the amount of effort they put forth (or lack thereof), the reading that went undone, the assignments that were turned in late, or going incommunicado for days. Certainly, if homework was an independent activity, this wouldn’t be a problem. However, when 30% of one’s grade depends on the ability to turn in a cohesive group project – the reliability and cooperation from teammates becomes crucial. Needless to say, my experience with groups ran the gamut from excellent (go Team C!) to absolutely nightmarish. I am so grateful that the team that supported me through the bulk of the toughest part of the program was comprised of competent, cooperative and caring individuals. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of guys to partner with. We still swap e-mail with the 4 original members periodically and it’s nice to know that they’re all doing well and went on to obtain their degrees. I was the last.

Looking back at the whole experience, I sometimes wonder if this investment was worth my time and money. And boy, it was a LOT of money. Although I may forget nearly everything I studied in those 11 years as a college student, it wasn’t the knowledge gained that was of worth – but the attainment of a goal and seeing it through to completion. Of course, there is also the hope that the degree will also help me work my way back into my field. Someday… hopefully sooner rather than later.

The other day, talking to Mahealani, the subject of school came up. She’s currently in a Marine Biology Masters program. “It must be nice to be done,” she said, almost wistfully. “It’s wonderful. I still can’t believe it,” I said. “When I come home from work, I still have this feeling like I need to do something – homework, reading, a project… When I realize that I don’t have anything due – well, it’s an odd feeling.” She nodded with understanding, “when you get over that feeling, you’ll know when it’s time to go back to school.” Then, she went on to explain how she felt after completing her Bachelors degree and the nocturnal epiphany she had that prompted her to continue her pursuit for further education.

Honestly, I don’t think any epiphanies of that sort are in my future.

I do, however, have intentions of continuing my education – but not through obtaining a Masters in Information Technology. I’d like to expand my knowledge of writing, photography, graphic design, video editing, and the Japanese language. The possibilities excite me and give me the zest for learning that I lacked as I was going through my degree program.

It’s nice to have my life back. What shall I do today?

It is Saturday. My favorite day of the week, yet I feel so… unwell.

In mind, body and spirit.

One of those days when I feel like staying in bed for as long as possible. And I did.

Missed karate.
Missed enjoying the afternoon with the Hubby.
Missed a family gathering with the in-laws.
Missed being happy.

Am I missing something? Missing life.

Is it possible to be thankful for something, yet be so completely miserable doing it that you dream of what could be if you just… quit?

I hope this passes. Maybe it’s just cyclical. Maybe not.

How eco-friendly are you? My current course, “Environmental Ethics” is prompting me to stop and think about how our actions impact our environment. I wish I could proclaim that I am a responsible, environmentally-conscious citizen, but truthfully, I am not. This course, however, is teaching me to be more mindful.

Ever wondered how much “nature” your lifestyle requires? You’re about to find out.

This Ecological Footprint Quiz estimates how much productive land and water you need to support what you use and what you discard. After answering 15 easy questions you’ll be able to compare your Ecological Footprint to what other people use and to what is available on this planet.

How much “nature” does your lifestyle require? Take this quiz and share your results!

You may also take this quiz to find out how many trees you will need to plant in order to off-set your carbon footprint. According to my results, I need to plant 14 trees to “go zero.”

I just finished my COMM/315 tonight. Phew!

Just 2 more classes and I’ll be done with my B.S. So close… Must. Endure.

Before I sat down to finish my paper tonight, I allowed myself to spend a few credits on my iTunes account to download some music for inspiration and incentive. Tonight, I purchased a few nostalgic favorites from David Lee Roth’s “Skyscraper” album, featuring the guitar prowess of one of my favorite guitarists of all time: Steve Vai.

Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of jazz: Acoustic Alchemy, Richard Elliot, the Rippingtons, Boney James, and John Tesh. I had nearly forgotten how much I love the sound of hammer-ons and harmonics skillfully executed on an electric guitar. Setting my iTunes to the “guitar gods” playlist, I was ready to tackle my assignment.

With a little help from Joe Satriani, Steve Vai and Yngwie Malmsteen who graciously provided the mood music, I managed to finish my paper with only 17 words over the minimum content requirement. I have never been one to do just the bare minimum, but being afflicted with Senioritis, I’ll take what I can get. I’d like to think that the content qualified as quality over quantity. I can only hope that my prof will agree.

Oddly enough, the screaming guitars blaring out of the speakers helped to energize my tired brain cells. It was reminiscent of the good old days in high school when I used to listen to my favorite hair metal tunes, singing along, head-banging, playing air guitar and studying all at the same time. I believe this is when I truly learned how to multi-task, back when I had big hair and was dang proud of it. (See below)

Aqua Net Days, circa 1991
Me, Byron, Shari

Aside from being done with my paper, the best part is that I still have $15.78 left in my iTunes account for the next time I am in need of incentive and inspiration.

iTuned to: “Damn Good” by David Lee Roth from the 1988 album, Skyscraper

Just a few years ago, it seemed so easy to pull a 1000-word paper out of thin air. These days, I feel like having a spinal tap would be less painful.

I am down to 3 more classes before I finally get my B.S. (That is, Bachelor of Science — although it may have a dual meaning here.) I should be sprinting toward the finish line, but instead I feel like I’m crawling on all fours, suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, wondering out loud, “how much farther, Papa Smurf?”

Not far now.

Unfortunately, my brain is shutting down, my Muse has taken flight, and studying takes so much more darned efffort than before that it’s incredible. All I can think about is what my free-time pursuits will be after I finally graduate. (Read books for leisure, do some creative writing, learn to speak Japanese, hone my Photoshop skills, exercise regularly! Oh, the wonderful activities that await!) Senioritis revisited.

I had to call it a night on my paper. Let’s hope my brain is just tired and that after a good night’s sleep that I’ll be refreshed and ready to pump out another 550+ words to meet my minimum content requirement. Talk about putting the B.S. in Bachelor of Science!

I felt like I barely survived my Life Sciences course, so I was surprised to discover that my final grade was a B+. I consider this quite an accomplishment considering I was afraid that I might not even pass the class. In all honesty, I didn’t do my best work in that class and put forth perhaps 75% effort (thanks to work-related stress and subsequent illness), so naturally, I expected a grade in the 70-something percentile. Of course, I’m not complaining and am delighted to have received the B+.

My current course of study is a communications class, focusing on communication in the virtual workplace. Needless to say, it has whet my appetite for finding a job that would allow me to telecommute. It made me nostalgic for the days in the early 90’s when I was fortunate enough to be a “virtual employee” and had the pleasure of working from home and being able to do business in my pajamas for nearly a year. Job duties included chatting online, monitoring discussion boards and games, handling payments/credits, and tech support. (For real!) I seriously need a job like that again, especially if/when we ever have children. I would like to be a stay-at-home mom and still be able to bring home a portion of the bacon, as the cost of living in Hawaii is ridiculous and surviving on a single income is nearly impossible.

Anyone looking for a good virtual employee? I’m your woman!

Okay, back to reality.