Lil' K looks at herself in the mirror while she applies pretend makeup on her face. Photo taken with my iPhone 3GS and the instragr.am app.
“Girly girl” is probably the last phrase you’d use to describe me. Despite that, I find that my 30-month-old daughter is already enamored with typically girly pursuits: applying pretend makeup, collecting shoes & bags, enamored by bling, and occasionally says she wants to be a princess.
I’m not that keen on the princess culture. In fact, I deliberately avoid buying anything with princesses on them. Although she has more than her fair share of “girl” toys, I encourage Lil’ K to play with gender-neutral toys or even typically “boy” toys as well. I want her to grow up feeling like she could do or be anything that she wanted to — that there is more to being a girl than frilly pink and purple tutus, tiaras, and tea parties. Mind you, she does have tutus and tea sets, baby dolls and a huge collection of Hello Kitty stuffed animals. But she also has a toolbox full of plastic tools, cars, and a (*gasp!*) toy tank that she enjoys playing with.(For the record, the tank was given to her by her cousin.) I just don’t want Lil’ K to be put in a box and feel like she can only play with “girl” toys or do “girl” activities. (NOTE: I am also concerned about the sexualization of young girls, gender stereotypes, and body image — things that the princess culture tends to play right into. Go to the bottom of this entry for additional links to interesting articles about these issues.)
On the other hand, when looking at her, you might not think she was a girly girl. She refuses to let me to do anything fancy with her hair. She doesn’t like pins, rubberbands, or headbands in her hair. We also tend to dress her plainly in jeans and t-shirts, mostly for convenience and practicality. (Jeans are great protection against skinned knees, after all.) To be honest, jeans and t-shirts make up 95% of my wardrobe, so my lack of fashion sense might be to blame too.
Are you raising a girly girl? What do you think of the princess culture? What about gender stereotypes in marketing to children?
Additional reading:
- Men and the Sexualization of Young Girls: Encouraging princess culture—however innocently—contributes to the sexualization of girls. Men can be part of the solution to the ‘princess problem.’ – Article by The Good Men Project
- Redefine Girly: Let’s change the way we think about our girls
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7 Responses to Girly Girl
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You read my mind: I was about to write something like this, too. TLE is a girly girl, much to my shock. (I’m about as tomboyish as they come. My mother begged — BEGGED — me to remember to wear makeup to my marriage ceremony.) We avoided the princesses as long as we could but they somehow invaded and took over. :/
Oddly enough, I’m finding that I have to show that princesses/girly stuff IS okay and validate that her opinion is valuable. There have been incidents where TLE has tried to hide her girly stuff from me, afraid of my disapproval. It was a very sobering realization, to say the least.
I have an older son, so playing with “boy” toys is not a problem. I think it’s pretty innate. I didn’t initiate anything particularly girly with my daughter in terms of play, but I think she picked up the femininity from observing me…that’s how she ended up playing with hand bags and shoes and asking for “pretty eyes” (pretend makeup)…i too don’t encourage the princess culture, but my daughter was seriously naturally drawn to baby dolls, purses, shoes, makeup and many things girly and frilly =)
asako33´s last [type] ..Love…
I was just thinking about this tonight while I was watching my daughter play with her hair. As ungirly as I am, she’s definitely a girly girl. Of course there’s nothing wrong with being pretty AND strong, so I’m trying to find a way to balance it all as she gets older.
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Hey, Donna:
Also, now that she can be safe around guns, she goes out with hubby to hunt–he only hunts for food, not for sport. I feel better that she learned gun safety (no oxymoron intended), but her attitude change was so unexpected! You never know–you may be raising the next Annie Oakley! 
When my youngest sis & her now-hubby were with his parents on Molokai, she never touched any of the dozen or so guns & rifles he had around the house (he’s a hunter & an NRA gun-safety instructor). She was nervous around them. I finally told her she should have him show her how to properly & safely handle & use them. Not knowing might actually be dangerous for her since there were so many in the house. Now, when she visits us, she tells us how she has her own pump-action air rifle that she used to stalk birds that were feeding off of her garden plants. She does the low-crawl-to-a-sniper-position thing all the time now and just LOVES plinking at these intruders! I’d always thought of her as a bit of a girly-girl, so I never would have guessed this would happen!