Tomorrow will be my first day of work outside of the home in over a year. My friend Lisa is launching her new portrait studio in Kailua and I’m thrilled to help her part-time with this huge undertaking. Contributing to the family finances with POSITIVE cash flow (rather than negative), getting some “adult time,” and keeping my skills fresh are all benefits of going back to work. However, there is the issue of my little munchkin and how she (and her babysitters) will fare without me.

We will be separated for a total of 8 hours tomorrow: 2 hours of commute time and 6 hours of work.  Between Hubby and my parents, we have childcare covered, but knowing how active Baby Champuru is and the fact that my folks are not as young as I wish they were, I worry.

I worry about whether she’ll cooperate and eat her meals.  I worry that she will squirm and wiggle away as Baba and Jiji change her diaper.  I worry that they won’t be able to put her down for her much needed nap(s).  I worry about her getting into mischief as only a toddler can, and whether my parents will be able to handle her.

But, like so many other things that cannot be controlled by mere human will, I realize that I have no control over what happens when I’m away.  In fact, I have an entire blog entry floating around in my head about the issue of control and how being a mom is teaching me to vanquish my inner control freak. All I can do is pray that it will be smooth sailing for everyone concerned: no emergencies and no tantrums.

I am so thankful that I had the advantage of dedicating myself completely to raising Baby Champuru during her first year.  I’m hoping that being away from her for 16-24 hours out of the 168 hours in a week will be a developmental opportunity not only for me, but for her as well.