I’ve been told that the term “the Terrible Twos” is a misnomer. It doesn’t start at age two. It begins around the time your baby learns to walk. I looked up the word toddler in the dictionary and found this definition: “a young child who is just beginning to walk.” *sob* Baby Champuru is no longer an infant! 
(Does that mean I have to start calling her Toddler Champuru? It just doesn’t have the same ring to it.)
When your baby goes from quadrupedal to bipedal, you had better be ready for your life to change. Again!
Baby Champuru went from being an infant to a toddler at 10-1/2 months and sure enough, I’m starting to see signs of the Terrible Twos emerging. So, remind me again… why was I in such a rush to get her walking?
At 11 months old, she’s flexing her independence muscles in ways that both amaze and frustrate me.
Lately, the battle fields are chairs of all varieties, diaper changes, and bath time. Basically, any time we attempt to put her into a position (seated or lying down), chances are she’ll resist. She will arch her back or make her body stiff as a board when trying to put her into a seat (high chair, swing, or car seat), making it impossible to get her in. Bath time has not been the fun, relaxing bedtime ritual that it is meant to be. Lately, she refuses to sit down in the tub, so we have to bathe her while she’s standing. (Hubby holds her and I lather, rinse, repeat. She’s not steady enough to allow her to stand unsupported in a wet, slippery tub.) Diaper changes were fine for a while, but occasionally when she’s not in the mood, lying her down to change her diaper results in the infamous screaming neck arch.
Of course, you can’t let an uncooperative toddler prevent you from getting business done. I mean, really, that stinky poopy diaper needs to be changed regardless of whether she’s happy about it or not. However, you cannot simply force your will upon your baby. It just doesn’t work. At least not for me. My solution? I’ve become the master at the art of distraction.
Baby Champuru could very well be called Dora the Explorer. She enjoys discovering new things and she will study an object with such intensity and focus that I never thought possible for an infant toddler her age. I have been using this to my advantage. When I anticipate resistance, I grab an object that she has not handled before — or one that she seems particularly fascinated by — and offer it to her. If she reaches out and grabs it, I’m in business. Her body relaxes while her mind is engaged with the item, and I can place her in the position she needs to be in without protest. It’s magical, really.
I’ll be in trouble when she learns to multi-task. That is, when she can concentrate on the object and do the screaming neck/back arch at the same time. Another dilemma is that I’m running out of new objects. Sometimes reusing an item that I’ve previously distracted her with results in her swatting it away or snatching it then hurling it at my foot.
As for the car seat, I’m playing into the “exercising her independence” deal. I stand her up next to her car seat and encourage her to climb in. She does and I simply seat her properly and strap her in. 9 times out of 10, this works splendidly. The rest of the time, I resort to pulling things out of my purse for the distraction game. When nothing else works, the holy grail of distraction is my iPhone and I will allow her to hold it (*gasp!*) — usually out of desperation or sheer exhaustion.
Although it would be nice to have a totally obedient and compliant baby, I know that would not be a reasonable expectation. Although it sometimes feels like she’s giving me a hard time, she’s developing a valuable skill: independence. Learning independence is part and parcel of being a toddler. Understanding what is age-appropriate behavior at each stage helps to shape my expectations and deal with her accordingly. So, for now, I’ll use my distraction method for as long as it works.
I still have not found a solution to the bathtime quandary. No amount of trickery or distraction will get her to sit down in her tub. If anyone has a remedy for that one, please share your secret!
You’ve probably already done this….but bath toys? That always did it for my son. Then again, he wasn’t walking at Baby Champuru’s age, so maybe he was a little easier to handle.
Hi, kgirl94!
Yes, we’ve tried bath toys. Since it seemed like she was afraid of slipping and falling, we tried putting her in a dry tub first. That didn’t work, so we attempted placing a towel in the dry tub so she wouldn’t have that slippery plastic feeling under her feet. The first thing she did was pee on the towel. So, we got a fresh towel and tried again. That, too, was unsuccessful. We tried distracting her with objects and with the shower sprayer. Nada. Once the girl has her mind set on something, it’s tough to change it!
~ Donna
Ben’s been standing in the tub before he would walk steadily. I just bought one of those bath mats that we rinse out and hang up to dry after his bath time. It’s also machine washable. It helps immensely with bath time and because he’s the only one using it, it’s clean in case he does want to sit down. Hope that helps!
Hi, Cass!
Thanks for the tip! I’ll buy a bath mat and see if that works out better for us. Does someone hold him up? Have you ever had a problem with him slipping or trying to walk in the tub while you’re bathing him? So, do you just kneel outside the tub and bathe him or do you get in there with him? Sorry for the 3rd degree – I am curious since bath time has been such an issue lately. I’m hoping this will be our solution!
~Donna
As far as bath time goes, we ended up buying a larger toddler/infant tub from Ikea (which was really cheap though not sure where you can get one in Hawaii–maybe use one of those galvanize laundry buckets?) and kept washing Chris in there until he was almost 2 and a half! Sometimes the bigger tub can be overwhelming. The other thing you can try is bubbles? I just squirt in some Johnson and Johnson bath/hair stuff and let it bubble a little in the water.
I wish I could tell you everything calms down after being two… but now we’re into the terrible threes!
Donna, you write SO well. This is a fantastic blog about Toddlerhood. You share both your frustration and your awe and joy. That is very difficult to have those two emotions going on at the same time. What a great mom that you are!
“Flexing her independence muscles” is a excellent description for the Terrible Twosstage. This time is very trying. Although many people try to tell you what to expect, each child is different. You’ll figure out what works and what does not work.
TLE is the Empress of the Terrible Twos… at one and a half! For the car seat problems, I make sure to keep a selection of small toys in the car, including things that I normally wouldn’t let her play with, to distract her with. Yep, the iPhone is the grail of all toys but other shinies that can be admired while strapping her in works as well too.
When it became too dangerous to bathe TLE in her bathtub because she would always stand, we switched to showering. She does shower with me most of the time and she just loves it. I give her a bucket of water to play with while I’m washing myself and she learned at about 14mo to soap herself. I still have to wash her but being able to be a Big Girl and soap parts of herself up is a real thrill to her. If you’re not comfortable with showering with a kiddo underfoot, a detatchable showerhead should work just as well.
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Baby Champuru sounds a lot like my daughter. She’s always wanted to do everything herself, including taking over her own feeding at 8 mos. old! When she started walking at 10 months, she also started dragging a step stool around with her all over the house so she could get into things better and feel a little taller. She’s now four-yrs old and very independent. It sounds like you’re picking your battles well. To me the bath mat that you hang up to dry after each bath or the detachable showerhead sound like the best solutions if she refuses to sit for bath time. Good luck! P.S. the “terrible twos” don’t end at two either.
Hi Donna – we too are experiencing the toddler years. As far as bathtime we use special toys (the plastic containers, funnel, cups, etc) and he loves to hold the baby wash bottle. We bathe in the Primo Baby EuroBath in the fullsize tub. Have fun with baby Champuru!!!
Our kid recently doesn’t like to sit much either. Our key is to let him have some independence, but work fast as a team and make sure someone has a hand on him at all times.
For our bath routine, my husband starts his shower first, then when he’s done he puts the bathmat down and fills up the tub a couple of inches. That’s my queue to come in with the 13 month old in diapers, take off the diapers and plop him in the tub with my husband while I put the (usually dirty) cloth diaper in the hamper.
My kid knows the sound of the tub filling and will walk himself to the bathroom. (But sometimes he gets distracted by the kitty food bowl on the way over.)
Dad’s picks one or two toys out and starts washing the kid’s face, arms and top part of the body. Mostly the kid is wandering all over the tub that he can access at this point, as Dad is sitting in the tub with his back to the faucet. I take out my little stool to sit on right outside the tub and help with the little guy’s bottom and legs. Then I soap up his hair.
Dad’s got a little Japanese bath bucket from Marukai’s dollar store and rinses most of the soap from the kid’s hair. I make sure the boy doesn’t slip while he explores the tub and water while Dad gets the shower running, and then we do a final rinse. Dad picks up the baby and they play with the water coming out of the shower while I get the towel ready, I towel the kid off while Dad’s still holding him, then bundle him up and take him to his room, where I close the door. This was a source of many battles before. I sort of let him wander around his room while I chase him with diapers, PJs, baby q-tips, baby lotion, etc.
When Dad’s done drying off and dressing he takes the kid while I shower.
It’s all about independence right now. I’m not sure when we’re supposed to start teaching him patience.
LOL! Terrible two’s is definitely a misnomer because it doesn’t stop at age 2! I can so relate!
Like I alot of people mentioned, when Riley started walking, he wouldn’t sit down during bath and we ended up buying a bath mat as well. From Wal-Mart, made from that material that you can use to line the shelves as well. It works out great! I usually hold brace him with one hand and bathe him with the other. And we bath him standing up.
He’s starting to sit down again. And now I’m like, “Stand up so I can clean your nether regions!” What also helps is those toys that when you wet it, it sticks to the wall. It’s like cut-out or something. He loves to stick those on the wall. We also blow bubbles in the tub too. It’s fun. And if you have those bubble guns, you can make a “bubble suit” by covering her all in bubbles. It’s so cute!
And I hear ya about putting her in a seat! They either become spaghetti noodle and slips through everything or stiff as a board and you can’t put them in anything!
Enjoy the last few moments of baby-hood. I was looking at “old” pictures of Riley and Cody, and that baby stage seems so far away (and Riley’s only 14 months old!). I got all weepy. They change so fast. Even Baby C. She looks so different now from her earlier pictures!
cindy