Every so often I find myself kicking around the idea of creating a separate website for baby updates, but then I realize that if I do, my regular blog will likely become a neglected wasteland of dusty memories of times past. Then I began to wonder, what did I ever write about BB (before baby)?
Briefly, I looked back at my journal archives. It seems that some of my best writing was done in 2004-2005 when I maintained my journal.champuru.com site. I wrote about a myriad of topics, but mostly about how Hubby’s deployment to Iraq was stretching my faith and strengthening my love for my husband. Of course, there were lighter moments, too. Entries about a girls’ night out, bon dances, traveling, shopping, work, and of course, food. Always the food.
It seems like a lifetime ago, and I guess it was. October 4, 2008 is my new birthdate: the day I became Baby Champuru’s mom. Did the birth of my baby mark the death of my identity?
There’s little that I can write about that doesn’t involve baby these days. Especially as a SAHM (stay at home mom), my days and nights are consumed by the demanding tasks of motherhood. If I thought working a 9-5 job was arduous, it was only because I never knew what a demanding taskmaster a baby would be. Of course, the benefits of motherhood far outweigh those that any job could provide.
Being the most non-maternal person you’d meet, I never thought I would be one of those women who would give up her entire life for the sake of her child. But here I am, ready to give up not only my identity, but everything, if it meant that it would benefit Baby Champuru.
On the other hand, I realize that it would not benefit Baby Champuru if I gave up my interests, individuality, and uniqueness. She needs a role model, and right now, that’s me. She needs to be able to look at me and see a woman with strong values, interests that go beyond cloth diapering and breastfeeding, who is interesting, and capable of setting goals and accomplishing anything she sets her mind to.
So, the answer is no, I did not give up my identity when I became a mom. I merely added to it.
Photo by Lisa Hoang of Windwardskies Photography, taken in October 2008, when baby was just a week old.
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6 Responses to Giving up my identity to be a mom?
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Beautifully written. I had to laugh at your “most non maternal person you’d meet” because while I can relate, I have to say I would never have described you in that way. I think that you, like me, were awed by the depth of responsibility and commitment a baby requires and therefore nervous around them. And when they’re here, and you have no other choice, you commit yourself so wholly to it that you don’t have the time to reflect on what an enormous task it is.
I will say, too, that it does get much easier, and even more enjoyable, as baby grows. I would happily have 10 more babies just to enjoy the 6-11 month timeframe! Oh they are delightful little darlings then, so portable and easy to please and so wrapped up in you. Then they hit a year, and tantrums, and you have to start the big “D” (discipline).. so it gets harder in that regard, but watching them learn and grown and turn into little people who have ideas and opinions all their own is pretty amazing, too. They teach you so much.
Lovely photograph, nice blog! I notice that, like myself, your blog is modified from the WP Seashore theme
The title drew me in immediately to your post. Nothing wrong with writing about baby even all the time in my opinion. Especially right now. I meant to write you about your decision on leaving your job. Very happy for you and I believe all moms would do that if they could. You can’t get this time back.
“It seems like a lifetime ago, and I guess it was. October 4, 2008 is my new birthdate: the day I became Baby Champuru’s mom. Did the birth of my baby mark the death of my identity?”
Powerfully written.
Take care!
Beautiful, brings back many memories that I love to relive, thank you for bringing them back to me. Baby C. will start to push you away soon enough, momentary “I can do its” just short periods before back to your arms, just watch for them. Enjoy, nay, cherish these early months; there are some peacefully oriented societies that never let a baby touch the ground for the first 6 months, someone in the extended family is always holding them or carrying them in a sling. It creates such a base of security, love and affection in the child.
Whoops, starting to ramble, my bad. Just an inspiring post that gets me going. Again, thank you for the wonderful post.
Great picture donna! I don’t want any kids yet =P
Beautiful pic. Haven’t responded to your posts lately, but I do read them.
And yes, I agree with you . . . you didn’t lose your identity, you just added to it. For me, I absolutely love being a mom. And you know what? If that’s my new identity, so be it. I will be more than happy to be forever known as Cody and Riley’s mom with a little bit of other stuff on the side!