Every so often I find myself kicking around the idea of creating a separate website for baby updates, but then I realize that if I do, my regular blog will likely become a neglected wasteland of dusty memories of times past. Then I began to wonder, what did I ever write about BB (before baby)?
Briefly, I looked back at my journal archives. It seems that some of my best writing was done in 2004-2005 when I maintained my journal.champuru.com site. I wrote about a myriad of topics, but mostly about how Hubby’s deployment to Iraq was stretching my faith and strengthening my love for my husband. Of course, there were lighter moments, too. Entries about a girls’ night out, bon dances, traveling, shopping, work, and of course, food. Always the food.
It seems like a lifetime ago, and I guess it was. October 4, 2008 is my new birthdate: the day I became Baby Champuru’s mom. Did the birth of my baby mark the death of my identity?
There’s little that I can write about that doesn’t involve baby these days. Especially as a SAHM (stay at home mom), my days and nights are consumed by the demanding tasks of motherhood. If I thought working a 9-5 job was arduous, it was only because I never knew what a demanding taskmaster a baby would be. Of course, the benefits of motherhood far outweigh those that any job could provide.
Being the most non-maternal person you’d meet, I never thought I would be one of those women who would give up her entire life for the sake of her child. But here I am, ready to give up not only my identity, but everything, if it meant that it would benefit Baby Champuru.
On the other hand, I realize that it would not benefit Baby Champuru if I gave up my interests, individuality, and uniqueness. She needs a role model, and right now, that’s me. She needs to be able to look at me and see a woman with strong values, interests that go beyond cloth diapering and breastfeeding, who is interesting, and capable of setting goals and accomplishing anything she sets her mind to.
So, the answer is no, I did not give up my identity when I became a mom. I merely added to it.
Photo by Lisa Hoang of Windwardskies Photography, taken in October 2008, when baby was just a week old.
