Photo by Lisa Hoang, Windwardskies Photography
Another sneak peek from our photo shoot
This November will mark our 15th anniversary. The new addition to our little family makes me ponder how it will affect our relationship. I would hope that this shared experience would make us stronger and closer, but I know that the opposite could also be true. I have seen how children innately know how to manipulate and divide parents from a very young age, and if we’re not careful, this could easily create a chasm between us. (I’m not saying that children are little devils, but we all know that kids are smart and know how to get their way.)
Hubby and I have been through so much together, especially in recent years. From his one-year deployment to Iraq, to our homebuying experience, the infertility/in vitro fertilization ordeal, and now pregnancy and parenthood. Each of these experiences helped to strengthen our relationship, proving once again that if we stand together, hand-in-hand, we can face life’s difficulties. We make a great team, Hubby and I. We have certainly grown a great deal since we first met in 1991.
Through it all, Hubby has been my constant source of love, support, and comfort. Even as I was going through surgeries, treatments, daily injections, and the emotional rollercoaster of in virto, I was always comforted to know that Hubby loved me with an unconditional love. One of the toughest things to deal with in terms of infertility is the thought of being a failure. After all, one of the most natural and anticipated events of marriage is starting a family. When that doesn’t happen, it’s easy to start blaming yourself. For me, dealing with Father’s Day year after year was much harder than facing Mother’s Day. I just felt awful knowing that Hubby would make such an awesome father — and I couldn’t provide him that opportunity. Hubby was always quick to assure me that even if we never have children, that he would love me the same and that he was just grateful to be able to spend his life with me — with or without children.
When the Lord blessed us with this successful in vitro attempt, we couldn’t have been happier. It is the beginning of another chapter in our lives.
Despite the challenges and the waiting, I am glad that Hubby and I were able to enjoy our time as a couple for so long before having our baby. I believe God’s timing is perfect, and that 14 years was just the right amount of time we needed to prepare us to receive this blessing. When we got married, I was only 20. We had said that we wanted to take our time before starting a family so that we could adjust to married life before having to adjust to parenthood — we just didn’t realize it would be so long. But, looking back, I don’t regret a single moment of our time together as a couple.
Every time I visit my site, I gaze at the baby countdown widget in the sidebar. Today shows 55 days to go, which doesn’t seem like much time at all. As the reality of impending parenthood descends upon me, it fill me with wonder and apprehension all at the same time. This baby is the result of countless prayers, evidence that miracles do happen. I also wonder if I am worthy of such a blessing and the responsibility that goes along with it. If you really stop to think about it, parenthood entails the care and shaping of a person. What I do (or don’t do) directly affects this baby for better or worse. It is mind-boggling.
I know that having a baby changes everything. I am confident that this, too, will change us into better people.
Oh Donna, you and Wes will be wonderful parents!!! I LOVED this picture and the other one that you shared!!! Absolutely beautiful!!!
Children change your life in almost every way. And yes, it can be disruptive as much as it can be something that solidifies life’s bonds. But you and your hubby, Donna, will be fantastic and loving parents, and fantastic and loving partners. I have absolutely no doubt. In your challenges we are with you. But in your doubtless many triumphs, we are with you, too, and cheering and laughing and sharing in your joy.
As a proud parent, I’ve never wanted parenthood for anyone else as much as I’ve wanted it for you. And I cannot wait for you to truly know why.
And… FANTASTIC photos, Lisa. There is no one else I’d trust maternity (and, soon, baby) photos to more!
That is a really beautiful photo, Donna.
Thank you for sharing and like what Steph and Ryan mentioned above, I too believe both you and your hubby will be caring & fun-loving parents to Baby Champuru
All’s I can say is take it one day at a time. There are good and bad to each “stage” in the child’s development. Our sweet little baby girl is going through her teens now. Oh the drama.. the drama… (Said in a Marlon Brando voice a la Apocalypse Now) On the other hand our kolohe boy has been transformed into an angel this past year. (???) OK, what alien came to this planet and swapped out his brain? No worries, you WILL be changed but it will be OK.
I’m crying !!! this is a wonderful and loving entry ! you and hubby will be great parents ! the balance of both of you will teach each other how to parent and still be a loving spouse !
That’s a very nice story, Donna. The one piece of advice that I could give would be that in spite of all the love and attention you give your child, make sure you save just a little bit of that for each other. I’m sure you guys will do great!
What a wonderful blog and photo! I have faith that you and Hubby will do just fine. Love is always the answer. Just hold the new, improved snowflake as much as you both can, use a sling and the baby will get bonded for life at the deepest levels (leave the stroller, et al until later). When you are holding her at 2 in the morning and feel that little sigh as she relaxes deeper into sleep and you know she feels safe and secure and that you would die for her without a second thought if need be, well you will just Know. My oldest son had his first child, Alice Sumire (if I spelled that right, means violet) on July 31 and he had that dazed look first time parents often have right after the birth, the realizations that come upon seeing the baby in person, and the love that goes with the dazed look was just great. May you both have the same .
Hey Champuru!
luvnbnmama22 here, so cute your maternity pics! AWWW
Not long now and you will be forever changed by this miracle you’ve been anticipating all these months.
God bless you and your little `ohana=)
that’s such a beautiful picture! i love it!
I was very moved by your entry. i know some part of your struggles, and it reminds me of my own struggles.
“Hubby was always quick to assure me that even if we never have children, that he would love me the same and that he was just grateful to be able to spend his life with me — with or without children.” – this is what Kris said too.
I know that you both will be awesome parents – and I think that this will bring you both even closer together!
Oh my goodness, thank you, everyone, for your wonderful comments. I always love reading people’s feedback to what I write. Your insights and comments always leave me feeling encouraged and uplifted. Thank you!