Friday, July 27, 2007
My period started. Hooray! (Who knew I’d be cheering about starting my period?) The IVF cycle is ready to begin.

Saturday, July 28, 2007
The day began and ended with IVF activities. This morning, we made a visit to the infertility specialist for another ultrasound and a blood test. After hitting our pocketbook for a cool $2000, they sent us home with a big bag of goodies. Two kinds of injectable drugs (Follistim and Menopur) and nifty stuff like vials, needles, alcohol swabs, and bandaids. The instructions: Two shots to be given twice a day, twelve hours apart — in the abdomen. Luckily, it’s a subcutaneous injection (skin only), so the needle is small and thin, so it’s not too horrible — although, I will say that it is not without a tiny pinch of pain and a little shedding of blood now and then. The egg retrieval is tentatively scheduled for Tuesday, August 7. If successfully fertilized, implantation happens about 3-5 days later. But, as always, everything is up in the air and contingent on whether my body responds to the treatment as expected.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Yet another ultrasound and blood test today. Apparently, the doc wasn’t completely pleased with the way my left ovary was responding to the treatment, yielding only one or two eggs visible on the ultrasound, while the right ovary produced about six. I’m not sure how many would be a “good” number, but I guess a few more days of injections will be necessary in my case and the egg retrieval now has to be pushed back. This whole IVF process is such a wait-and-see thing. My Friday ultrasound will tell us more. In the meantime, I’ll be praying for my body to cooperate. I also have another injection (Ganirelix, again) to add to the mix starting on Friday morning. That will bring my shot count to five per day: 4 shots in the tummy and 1 in the leg.

I have noticed that the hormones have been making me a little more emotional than normal. As I was driving home listening to Josh Groban, I nearly broke down in tears as I sang along with the song, “In Her Eyes.” I have always said that Josh’s voice was so beautiful that it could bring me to tears. I guess that wasn’t too far-fetched a statement after all. I also got all teary-eyed this afternoon as I was telling Hubby about a “Focus on the Family” radio broadcast that I heard today that explained the challenges that parents of autistic children face. Hubby should just be thankful that hormones only affect my emotions and don’t turn me into the Wicked Witch of the West.

The IVF experience has been growing my faith and also teaching me that I need to just “let go and let God.” There are some things that I simply cannot control and this is a prime example of one of them. As hard as I try, I cannot force my body to do anything. All I can do is rely on God, trust that Father knows best, and that He is in control, even when I am so not. This experience has also taught me that I can trust Hubby with anything, even a needle. He has been so loving and supportive throughout this whole ordeal, I could not ask for a better man to share my life with — with or without children. I am so truly blessed either way.

Another day, another needle

WARNING: More IVF updates, talk about being naked, periods, and the travails of having a nervous stomach.

The day started with the all-too-familiar “bottoms off.” I had another appointment with my nemesis the ultrasound machine again this morning.

It’s no secret, I have an extremely nervous stomach. At the first sign of stress, my stomach goes into overdrive, sending my bowels fleeing for the nearest exit at lightning speed. Unfortunately, this makes for some pretty inconvenient situations, like when I’m sitting on the examining table, half nekkid, with a drape that has the texture of a cheap disposable dinner napkin wrapped around my bottom. In general, doctors make me nervous to begin with. Add the naked factor to that and you have a recipe for disaster. Personally, I think it’s bachi for mentioning in a previous entry about becoming desensitized to it all. I had to make a quick decision, get dressed again and apologize profusely to the nurse as I made a beeline for the restroom, or, take a chance and hope that I could settle my stomach using mind over matter. I opted for the latter and hoped for the best. Breathing deeply and playing an eye training game on my Palm Treo helped get my mind off of the situation, although the draft that kept wafting under my drape reminded me that I was still naked, though. Thankfully, my mad relaxation skillz settled my nervous stomach just in the nick of time.

Wasting no time, the doctor greeted me and instructed me to “scoot” as he prepared the ultrasound probe. He was disconcerted that my period hadn’t started, despite vigorous efforts to trigger it (i.e., pumping my body full of hormones). “Maybe you got pregnant without my help,” he said and instructed me to provide a urine sample to perform a pregnancy test. I thought it was impossible for me to get pregnant since he removed both my fallopian tubes in April. Go figure? Well, the pregnancy test was negative, as I suspected.

A sharps collector of my very own

After the ultrasound, I took another blood test. Unfortunately, the phlebotomist who drew my blood today was neither skilled nor gentle. Between the blood tests and the injections, I’m starting to feel like a human pincushion.

Satisfied that they had collected enough of my bodily fluids, they sent me home with a sharps container and instructions to keep applying the Climara estrogen patch every other day until my period decides to show up. Oh, and since my period wasn’t cooperating, I now have to go back on Saturday morning to do yet another ultrasound. I am really hoping that it shows up tomorrow so everything can continue on schedule for the IVF procedure. Besides that, the doctor already told me upfront that I was going to be a challenging case. I’m praying that my body will start cooperating with the treatment so as not to further complicate matters.

To be continued…

I just had to take a moment to plug this workshop which is being presented by my Okinawan music and dance troupe, Ukwanshin Kabudan. Since I am currently on hiatus from my dancing endeavors (with the exception of my weekly jaunts to the various obon dances), I missed out on a truly eye-opening and life-changing trip to the homeland. Thanks to my mother’s influence since my early childhood, I have always felt a strong connection to my ethnic identity mostly due to the appreciation and participation of the music and dance of my culture. It saddened me to hear that the culture is slowly fading in Okinawa, as generations of youth in the country are either provided a whitewashed version of the truth of their history or a commercialized repackaging of their arts. To think that it’s possible that my own children or grandchildren might not get a chance to learn about their heritage simply broke my heart. However, with the return of the group came reports about the positive impact that the message of Loochoo Nu Kwa had on the people of Okinawa which is sparking a cultural awakening. It is my hope that future visits and contacts made in Okinawa will continue to fan the embers of interest into flames of passion about the Okinawan culture.

If you are Okinawan or are interested in Okinawan culture or history, I urge you to attend this upcoming workshop. It will be an insightful and valuable time learning about this important aspect of our heritage.

Loochoo Nu Kwa: Children of Loochoo
Workshop on Okinawa’s music and dance as connected to its history and culture
Click to download the flyer

When: Saturday, August 25
Registration: 4:30 p.m.
Workshop: 5:00 - 9:00 p.m.
Where: Jikoen Hongwanji Hall, 1731 N. School Street, Honolulu

Presented by Ukwanshin Kabudan, sponsored in part by Young Okinawans of Hawai`i

This workshop will help you to understand the importance of music and dance in the history and culture of Okinawa. You will also hear the urgency to preserve and perpetuate the Ryukyuan traditional legacy as presented by Norman Kaneshiro, Eric Wada, and the Ukwanshin Kabudan members who have just returned from an emotional visit to Okinawa. If you have ever wondered about what it is to be Okinawan, or how you can strengthen your identity, this presentation will help you to understand.

In preparation for IVF (in vitro fertilization), my doc has started me on a cocktail of drugs which include pills, injections, and patches. Today, Hubby shot me up with the last of 3 daily doses of Ganirelix, a subcutaneous injection administered in the thigh and I’ve been wearing estrogen patches since Saturday.

I figured that the injections would probably be one of the worst parts of this whole IVF ordeal, but thankfully, I have a caring (and brave) husband who is willing to play the part of my in-home nurse. So far, the subcutaneous injections haven’t been too horrible, but I am dreading the intramuscular shots that I’ll to have to take on the butt and on my stomach! Yowch!

I don’t know if it’s the hormones, my imagination, or the Jack in the Box Sirloin cheeseburger that I ate for lunch yesterday, but I am feel pretty puffy these days. No mood changes as far as I can tell, some tiredness (but I’m always tired anyway), and aside from feeling like a cow and eating like pig, I have been feeling pretty good. I hope that I’ll be able to tolerate the upcoming treatments equally well, which will commence within the next week or two. However, dropping $2500 for the drugs alone, may be enough to make my stomach turn.

On Thursday: Yet another ultrasound. Oh, goodie.

Another visit to the doc

The day began with a visit to the doctor. My calendar is dominated by doctor’s appointments and weekend bon dances lately. For the record: More doctor’s appointments than bon dances, which is never a good thing. Today’s visit was to the dermatologist to check on a troublesome patch of skin near my incision site which has been looking pretty annoyed for quite some time. I figured that it was just a result of over-cleaning with rubbing alcohol and being subjected to all kinds of tape and gauze for so long that my skin finally got fed up and decided to stage a protest of its own. However, it’s been nearly two months now since I stopped swabbing it with alcohol and dressing my now-healed wound, so I asked my IVF doc about it and he referred me to a dermatologist.

The dermatologist assured me that it wasn’t a fungal infection (thank God!) and that it was just irritated. He prescribed a topical medication and said that it should disappear in a week or two. Good news.

After the appointment, I went straight to Olelo to continue my video editing endeavor for work. (I love this part of my job!) Today I decided to do something a little different and incorporated a voice-over to tie together the video segments and interviews into a (hopefully) cohesive storyline.

It was an interesting experience, as they lock you in this tiny room with a microphone and blank DVC Pro tape and let you have at it. Of course, it took me about 17 tries before I was finally satisfied with the result. Thankfully, no one was in the room to listen. I’d have a lot of fodder for the blooper reel for sure.

Me, trying to look all professional (or something)

I am still not very happy with my camera work: a couple of shots looked like the white balance was off (even though I set it before the shoot) and another scene has some major backlighting issues. With every episode, I learn something new. Video production, even on this very basic level, is something that I am extremely interested in. If only this could be 90% of my job instead of only 10%.

I love days like this.

Click to watch the videolog

Rissho Kosei Kai is definitely one of my favorite bon dances of the season — and not just because our music/dance group (Ukwanshin) takes the lead on the Okinawan numbers! They also have the best selection of food of any other bon dance I’ve attended — bar none. Check out the vlog and see why the champuru bon dance posse looks forward to RKK each year. (RT: 3 min 32 sec)

By the way… I’m working on a longer version of this vlog for the benefit of the bon dance posse. Nearly done, but I need to head to bed now — especially since I have to wake up early to get my second Ganirelix injection from the Hubs before he leaves for work. For now, enjoy the condensed version!

ultrasound - yes, that probe is exactly what you think it’s for

For my readers who will be bored to tears about my IVF (in vitro fertilization) updates, feel free to skip this entry and watch some videos instead. More than anything else, I am documenting this mainly for my reference later on. I’m sure years from now, I will want to look back at this experience and marvel at what we went through.

The calendar on my Palm Treo is full of little pink circles and squares which is my “IVF” category, marking appointments and events such as stopping/starting medication.

* June 29 - Ultrasound scan, prescribed 5-day regimen of Clomid (July 2-6)
* July 10 - Saline Infusion Sonogram* and Trial Transfer (full bladder)
* July 12 - Mid-cycle ultrasound scan, hCG shot
* July 16 - Blood work, shot teaching
* July 17 - Started taking low-dose aspirin

With so many ultrasound scans that I’ve already endured, I’ve become desensitized to the invasive nature of this procedure and am barely self-conscious when the nurse tells me, “bottoms off.” Before I started the infertility treatments, I was ultra-shy about these types of exams (i.e., hadaka, nekkid), even going as far as to insist on a female OB/GYN. Oddly enough, baring my bottom to my male doctor doesn’t seem all that traumatic anymore. Amazing what a half dozen ultrasounds will do.

The July 16 appointment was the most revealing thus far, giving us a better idea of what’s in store for the next few weeks. Most notably, it involves taking a LOT of drugs. The nurse handed us a Medication Description sheet which provided details about the medications that I would be taking and its potential side effects. Just so you don’t think I’m exaggerating, here’s a list. However, I think it’s missing one injection (Menopur)…

Doxycycline: Antibiotics for both me and Hubby - to keep us from getting sick
Dexamethsone: Pill taken orally at bedtime.
Low-dose Aspirin (81 mg): Once a day, assists with cycle stimulation and impending embryonic implantation
Follistim (purified follicle stimulating hormone): A subcutaneous injection in the stomach, given twice a day (morning and night) for 10 days, to be administered by the Hubby
hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin): Intramuscular shot given in the okole in office.
Progesterone (hormone): Another daily injection.
Medrol (steroid): A low dose steroid pill, taken for 4 days.
Estrogen patches (Climara): To be adhered just south of the waistline
Terbutaline: Taken the day of the embryo transfer, which assists the uterus to relax during the transfer (but may make the rest of me jittery)
Valium: Taken the day of the embryo transfer, to help off-set the jittery effects of the Terbutaline.
Prenatal Vitamins: Taken daily.

Hubby also got a quick and dirty lesson on how to administer the 3 types of shots that he will be giving me once my IVF cycle begins. Each of them is different. One of them is a pre-filled syringe. The second is a pen-type syringe. And, the last type is a traditional syringe that he uses to mix sodium chloride and Menopur powder.

In preparation for Hubby’s deployment to Iraq in 2004, he had to go through a combat lifesaving course. One of the skills that he learned was putting an IV in to a patient. At least injections don’t require having to locate a good vein. I am more than confident that Hubby will do a great job as my nurse. After all, he nursed me back to health after my surgery.

If my body cooperates, they will do the egg retrieval on August 7 and embryo transfer a couple of days later. Then, see if they “stuck.”

In the meantime, I will be lifting many prayers to the Lord for a good outcome — and if you’re the praying type, I would love it if you would say a few on my behalf, too. If successful, it will truly be a miracle.

This has been a common sight lately

*To learn more about what SIS or Saline Infusion Sonogram procedure is, click this link. Continue Reading »