Demagnetized

When I pass through a threshold, I am often lauded with much fanfare, sometimes even flashing lights and alarms. All this time, I thought it was because I was special; but tonight, I discovered the sad truth.

That’s right, folks, I set off alarms whenever I walk into a store and it’s not because of my magnetic personality. It was because of my Coach wallet.

Hubby and I visited Borders Express tonight before our movie. On cue, as I walked into the store, the alarm blared and people glanced curiously in my direction as if I was a would-be thief attempting to sneak out with a “Chicken Soup for the Soul” stashed under my t-shirt. One of the employees asked if I had any DVDs, CDs or books in my purse as he stepped from behind the counter. I thought he might be getting ready to do a full cavity strip search by his purposeful approach. I unzipped my purse and opened it for him to see and assured him that I did not.

“Is that an expensive purse? Sometimes designer bags have anti-theft devices sewn into them and stores neglect to deactivate them,” he suggested.

I happened to be carrying a not-so-designer purse, but pulled out my Coach wallet. “Maybe it’s my wallet,” I said and waved my wallet through the sensors, promptly setting off the alarm again.

“If you take your credit cards out of the wallet, I’ll deactivate it for you,” the helpful employee offered.

I removed anything with a magnetic strip and handed him my wallet. He demagnetized it for me and handed it back to me. “Try it again.”

I went back to the sensors and tentatively passed the wallet through. No bells, no flashing lights, no curious stares. Success! I thanked him profusely since his effort would surely save me countless incidents of retail embarrassment.

So, if you find that you set off alarms wherever you go, find a nice cashier and ask them to demagnetize your purse or wallet. That could do the trick.