Life was much simpler then.
Recently, I prayed, “Lord, let your will be done in this situation, for you know all things and can see the beginning from the end. You know if this situation will be good for me or not. If it is too much for me to handle — or if you have better things planned for me — then let the answer be ‘no’.”
In those quiet moments at the end of the day I even said, “God, if the answer is ‘no,’ please also grant me the understanding to accept it with grace and humility.” Some days, I found myself hoping for a ‘no,’ or a ‘maybe something else…’ I tried to dismiss those feelings, attributing them to insecurity or an unwillingness to step out of my comfort zone. But maybe, just maybe, it was His voice gently whispering, “no.”
I still lay in wait for the answer, but the silence is deafening. Murmurings and inklings of ‘no’ trickle in. Bitterness knocked at my heart and I answered. I even entertained him for a while.
Then, I recalled my simple prayer, “let your will be done.” Didn’t I mean it? Was I merely giving God lip service, not really prepared or willing to accept anything except that my will be done?
The moment he saw me, he knew. Hubby is my balance. He brings perspective and encouragement. I can almost imagine that God uses Hubby as a mouthpiece to speak audibly to me since I have such a hard time hearing the still, small voice of His spirit.
I finally realized that whatever the outcome, my prayers were answered. Only in hindsight will I fully understand, but I must receive the answer with the faith of a child knowing that the Father works all things together for my own good whether I realize it or not.
Who is Champuru?Aloha, I'm Donna, known everywhere on the Internet as "Champuru." I was born and raised in Hawaii. I'm a Christian. I'm married to my best friend of 18 years, we struggled with infertility and successfully conceived via IVF (and by the grace of God!) in 2008. I resigned from my coveted "secure" government job to be a work-at-home mom to my 3-year-old daughter. Using my degree in Information Technology and the skills obtained in the marketplace, I started my own business. Now, I work from home, taking clients on a part-time basis, working in my PJ's while the little one sleeps. Life isn't always easy, but it's all good.